At 50, Five Things I'd Urge Anyone in Their Forties Not to Do

1. Don't go all in on your children with your whole life.

Raising your children well matters, of course. But children grow up and, in the end, live their own lives. You, the parent, need a life of your own too.

2. Don't spend your time comparing yourself with others.

By your forties, everyone's life has too many variables.

Someone's career is going well,
someone's child needs a lot of time,
someone is caring for parents,
someone is starting a new life.

By this point, other people's pace isn't a very useful measure for your own life.

3. Don't look away from money and retirement.

If you put off the money conversation because it's uncomfortable, it doesn't suddenly get comfortable one day. Saving, investing and preparing for retirement all take time in the end.

Some things time helps with,
and some things only time can do.
Compounding especially.

4. Don't put your health off until later.

Especially building muscle. In your forties you still feel fine, so you keep postponing it, and postponing it makes it hard. Exercise isn't something you do when you have time left over. It's something you have to put on the calendar in advance.

5. Don't keep pushing what you want to do to next time.

When the kids are a little older.
When work calms down a bit.
When I've saved a little more.
When things get a little better.
I'll do it then.

But that day rarely comes the way you imagine. Once one thing is solved, something else comes up.

So lately I've been thinking this.

Your forties aren't a stretch you pass through just to prepare for your fifties.

You have to look after your health,
raise your children,
earn money,
and prepare for the future,
but during those ten years, you need to enjoy your own life too.

Your forties are simply your life as well.